by Krista | Feb 15, 2013 | Bits 'n' Bobs
Chilly wind is darting through the gum trees this morning. I’m wrapped in flannels and warm socks, sipping coffee topped with thick foam, and letting my soul rest.
I was recently diagnosed with severe PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and depression. It turns out that when a lot of bad things happen over a long period of time, those things wreak havoc with your body and spirit and leave you rather battered.
There was a time I would’ve been ashamed to say what I am dealing with, but not anymore. Instead I feel hope and gratitude and peace.
I’ve been hanging on for dear life for so long, trying to be strong enough, wise enough, good enough, trying to press on with joy and courage and kindness no matter how bad things got, thinking somehow that if I could just think the right thing or be the right thing it would all get better. But now I can just rest. I don’t have to hang on any more. I can be at peace knowing that I am OK, that I will be OK, that this is just something I have to work through and that one day the darkness will pass and I won’t have to search for the light, it will be all around me.
In the meantime, I’m doing what I can to make it as easy as possible for my dear ol’ self to get better. The time for adventuring and throwing myself headlong into projects will come again, but for now I am resting and embracing things that nourish and restore and strengthen.
I’m sticking close to the people I know are safe and trying to love them as beautifully as they’ve loved me through this difficult time.
I’m setting healthy boundaries after finally finding the courage to say no to situations that suck the life out of me, and yes to those that support all that is good, healing, and loving in my life.
I’m writing, writing, writing without judgment or editing, just getting it all out so the bad things don’t have power anymore. (Don’t worry – I won’t foist such ramblings on you. :-))
I’m giving myself good things to look forward to: breakfast dates with Bear, thrift store hunting with my girls, and camping trips with dear friends.
I’m celebrating signs of progress: a sleep without nightmares, successfully navigating a panic attack, the return of creativity.
I’m embracing my artistic side now that I’m getting the strength to do stuff again. I’m sewing and painting and taking pictures of everything that delights me, and it feels so good.
I’m also getting out into nature as often as possible. There are few things more restorative than sunshine, fresh air, salt water, and the woods. Yesterday I got up early and my dog Luna and I watched the sun come up, turning the fields into rippling waves of glowing gold.
Today I pulled on wellies and slipped a plaid flannel shirt over my sundress and went out to my rather wildly overgrown garden. It was so good to potter in the dirt for a while, pulling weeds and plants past their prime, filling bowls with gorgeous purple beans and tiny cherry tomatoes.
The ducks and chooks gathered outside the garden, happily tucking into the vegetation I tossed over the fence.
I love working outside in this sort of weather, ominous clouds scudding by overhead as buffeting winds make the world feel wild and untamed.
It does my soul good.
I’ve been reading some incredible things lately, beautiful, powerful words that heal deep wounds and bring hope. I am treasuring the book, “Women Who Run with the Wolves“. I can’t begin to describe the work it has wrought in my heart as I continue the lifelong journey of soul-reclamation. This post by Susannah Conway is so good for generating ideas for self-care in the real world and I cherish this post by my friend Rain who writes so exquisitely about the secret life of joy.
I’ve been continuing my quest to build happy things into my life every day. Yesterday was this new pair of polka dot wellies. Aren’t they outrageously cheerful?
My project this week is filling my life with amazing women who inspire, challenge, and delight me. I started a list of them – both fictional and real-life – and yesterday my friend Lizzy urged me to print out their pictures for my Inspiration Board (aka – cheap ol’ bulletin board I cover with things that inspire me).
So that’s what I’m doing and it makes me smile to see their brave, beautiful, weathered faces up there. It’s like having your own set of cheerleaders inspiring you to all that is noble and courageous and loving.
Whose photos would you tack up on your Inspiration Board?
by Krista | Feb 12, 2013 | Bits 'n' Bobs
There’s a hint of Autumn in the air.
I can feel it in the morning crispness when I crawl out of my warm bed and have to pull a robe or sweater over my shoulders.
I see it in the kitchen windows that stay closed until well after the sun has risen.
And I taste it in endless cups of chai tea and creamy coffee that are what I’m craving most as I labor over the heaps of writing projects I’m tackling this week.
I’m loving every minute of it.
It makes me long for lazy afternoons of unhindered reading and quiet rambles through the Irish countryside.
Let’s wander a bit.
Where are your dreams taking you these days?
by Krista | Feb 8, 2013 | Bits 'n' Bobs
It’s a quiet sick day at home. Animals are snoozing happily in the shade and I’m cozy on the couch, tending my feverish, achy self with guava juice and noodle soup and comforting mugs of creamy chai tea.
My friend Jack makes the best chai tea I’ve ever had. He makes it when our group of friends goes camping, and it tastes absolutely heavenly made in a little cast iron pot over the campfire.
For my own chai tea recipe I add star anise and fresh ginger to the usual spice mixture of cinnamon, allspice, cardamom, and cloves. Some people like whole peppercorns as well, but I don’t fancy it. And today I’m using whole leaf green tea instead of the usual black to boost the antioxidant and anti-inflammatory benefits.
A batch is simmering on the burner right now. It’s such a comforting aroma and all those spices have such wonderful healing properties that it’s a lovely drink for someone feeling rather dreadful.
During these quiet moments I’m taking time to read good things, like this snippet from Susannah Conway’s recent 40th birthday post sharing things she’s learned in her first forty years:
“I believe that by being the best and most healed version of ourselves
we can truly make a difference in the world.
I’m not an activist or politician,
and I’m not able to have any direct impact
on the areas of the world where help is needed.
But what I can do is make a difference
in the small pocket of the world I call home.
I can live with integrity and be honest about my feelings,
even when they hurt.
I can put my whole heart into my work
and pay forward the generosity that was shown to me
when my world fell apart.
I can look after myself,
knowing that by healing my own hurts
I won’t be passing them on to anyone else.
In a society like ours,
filled with so many emotionally wounded people
acting out their pain,
this is possibly the most important work we could ever do—
heal our hurts so we don’t pass them on.”
I love that so much. And this gorgeous piece from Rainer Maria Rilke:
“I beg you…
to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves
as if they were locked rooms of books
written in a very foreign language.
Don’t search for the answers,
which could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is, to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps then,
someday far in the future,
you will gradually, without even noticing it,
live your way into the answer…”
Now it’s time to add the tea to my simmering pot of spices.
Wishing you a beautiful, cozy weekend filled with good, quiet moments and things that nourish your soul.
xo
Chai Green Tea Recipe
Ingredients:
1 cinnamon stick
1 teaspoon whole cloves
4-6 green cardamom pods, crushed
10 allspice berries
3 slices fresh ginger
2 pieces of star anise
4 cups water
1 tbsp loose leaf green tea (or more if you like it strong)
whole milk and raw sugar or honey, to taste
Directions:
- Add spices and water to medium-size pan and bring to a boil over medium-high heat.
- Simmer, covered for 15 minutes.
- Add loose leaf tea, remove from heat, and steep 3-4 minutes until it reachs your preferred strength.
- Strain into a large, favorite cup, add sugar/honey and milk to taste.
- Sip slowly and savor every drop.
by Krista | Feb 5, 2013 | Bits 'n' Bobs
After seeing these gorgeous rare color images of Paris in the early 1900’s today, I simply had to go back to my Paris photos and share some black and white ones that I love.
There’s something about bicycles that makes me happy. To me they are reminders of carefree days pedaling along bumpy gravel roads on the Alberta prairies as a child and equally bumpy cobbled roads cruising through Amsterdam as an adult.
I’ve never cycled through Paris though, for I’m afraid I’d crash into something whilst craning my neck to look at some gorgeous building or enticing cafe.
I love the parks of Paris with their wide, white pathways perfect for ambling and glossy green benches perfect for sitting.
This park was the site my friend Amy and I chose for a break one sunny Autumn afternoon after purchasing a box full of tarts and pastries at a nearby patisserie.
Paris cafes always, always make me smile, especially when there’s an empty table on the sidewalk just waiting for me and a dear friend to sit at and talk for ages over cups of strong coffee and plates of cheese-filled crepes or crispy roast chicken.
I like the statues placed around Paris, and always wonder who made them and who the model was and what the story is behind them. I especially liked this one providing shelter to a cheeky bird on a windy day.
And I always sigh thinking about a Paris apartment. Looking up at the embellishments on the walls and the balconies near the top provide fodder for some very happy daydreaming.
I’d love to rent a top floor one someday, and have dinner parties on the roof-top terrace on warm Autumn evenings.
I’ve also been thinking of Paris because I’m on a brioche-making-kick.
Last time I told you about the brioche studded with dark chocolate, and today I’ll share a photo of my latest attempt: brioche with chunks of dark chocolate covered marzipan.
Oh my. I had it for breakfast this morning and felt well and truly spoiled. I think I added too much marzipan (is there such a thing?), for the top of the loaf emerged with some rather large marzipan-filled crevices, but I’m not complaining. It may look a bit wonky, but it tastes like a little slice of heaven.
You can find my brioche recipe here.
What are your favorite places or things to daydream about?
by Krista | Feb 4, 2013 | Bits 'n' Bobs
This weekend was one of those cozy, happy, putter-at-home sort of times. A comfy clothes, pony-tail, barefoot weekend.
I read good books and sipped creamy espresso laced with raw sugar and a dash of vanilla.
I drank red wine at night and watched good belly-laugh movies with Bear.
And I did a whole lot of baking while working my way through my annual tradition of listening to the entire Harry Potter series on CD.
I loved it.
My bread machine is one of my very favorite kitchen appliances. I know some folks feel that the only real bread is the bread made exclusively by hand, but I’m not one of them. In my book, anything that helps me get scrumptious, healthy food on the table when I’m tired, sick, or just plain stressed, is a good, good thing.
I used my bread machine to do all the finicky bits – mixing, kneading, doing the first rising – then I do the rest on my flour-dusted counter: kneading, shaping and popping the dough into a pan. It’s a very happy relationship.
I’ve been making bread since I was a girl, but for some reason I’ve never made brioche. Thankfully that changed this weekend.
I think bread is amazing. You can make so many different styles, textures and tastes with the same basic ingredients.
With nearly every loaf of yeast-risen bread, you must have flour, a liquid (water, milk, coconut milk, juice, broth), salt, yeast, a fat of some kind (Oil, butter, margarine, lard, coconut solids) and a bit of sugar to get the yeast fermenting once it hits the liquid. Most bread recipes are a variation on these components, and once you’ve got the basic formula down, you can let your imagination run wild creating your own bread recipes.
For brioche you use a higher quantity of fat (butter) to a lower quantity of flour (2 cups instead of the standard 3-4 cups for a large loaf), resulting in bread that is light, airy, and absolutely delicious.
I like my brioche with chunks of dark chocolate and a hint of nutmeg, but you can also add dried fruit (currants, sultanas, apricots, etc) or even nuts. Just make sure you wait to add them until just before you put the bread in the pan to bake. That way you know all the bready bits have been mixed properly.
I like eating my brioche while still warm cut in thick slices and spread with salted butter. With the remainder I toast it for breakfast, turn it into French Toast for brunch, or cut it into chunks for a rather fabulous bread pudding.
What is your favorite kind of bread?
Bread Machine Brioche with Dark Chocolate Chunks
Ingredients:
3 large eggs (I used duck eggs, but chicken eggs will be fine)
1/3 cup butter, melted
1/2 tsp sea salt
1-2 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
2 cups white flour
2 Tbsp white sugar
1 tsp fast-action dry yeast
1 bar (or more!) good quality dark chocolate, cut into 1/2 inch chunks
Directions:
- Pour first five ingredients into pan of bread machine. Top with flour, sugar, then yeast. Close lid, choose the dough setting, and press start.
- Take a nap, read a book, or work on another project until the last beeper sounds.
- Remove dough from bread pan and place on well-floured surface.
- Preheat oven to 200 C (350 F).
- Press dough into a rough circle and pour dark chocolate chunks on top.
- Knead well until chocolate chunks are well-dispersed.
- Butter a cast iron pot, brioche pan, or bread pan and place dough inside.
- Bake 25-30 minutes until brioche is golden brown and sounds hollow when you tap the top.
- Remove from pan and cool on wire rack.
- Serve immediately with lashings of butter.
_logo.svg){kind=logo}
