When we are afraid we ought not to occupy ourselves with endeavoring to prove that there is no danger,
but in strengthening ourselves to go on in spite of the danger.
– M. Rutherford –
I have been afraid this week.
Afraid when I try to sleep at night.
Afraid when I have to leave the safety of my friends’ home.
Afraid when I drive to work by myself.
I think I’m mostly afraid because the cops have not found the man who tried to assault me last week.
For the first few days I told myself it would all be OK as soon as the cops found him. But as days turned into a week and there was still no word, I realized I might have to be brave without assurance of safety from this predator.
And I hate that.
It doesn’t seem fair that the perverse man who shattered my peace with obscene acts and vile words gets away, and I am left crying myself to sleep and looking over my shoulder any time I leave the house.
It isn’t fair.
But it is my reality.
Tuesday I was feeling weak, scared and so anxious. I didn’t know what to do until I thought of the One Small Thing lesson I had learned the previous week. I remembered that even at my worst I can do One Small Thing.
So I decided to try to rebuild my courage by doing One Brave Thing each day. Just one.
Day One: I went back to work. When I got there my boss let me know they had locked down the whole building and would do whatever it took to make me safe and secure.
Day Two: I went to the library by myself and saw strangers who were normal, kind and cheerful. There are still good, trustworthy people in this world.
Day Three: I went to see my counselor. Instead of talking about how to strengthen myself to face that man in court, we talked about how to strengthen myself in case I never get that chance. Then we devised a Plan of Attack should he ever show his face again. It makes me smile to think of it. For the first time in my life I’ve been encouraged to make a scene in public. 🙂
One Brave Thing each day has done much to strengthen my heart and loosen the grip fear has had on me. I still have my bad moments and probably will for a while, but I’m getting better each day, and that is something worth celebrating.
Thank you so much for all your kind emails, phone calls, text messages, and tweets this week.
You gave me comfort when I was hurting so deeply.
You gave me courage when I was too scared to even think straight.
You gave me hope that this darkness would pass and life would be good again.
Thank you.
Much love and big, squeezy hugs to you.
XO
One day at a time–this is enough.
Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone;
and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come.
Live in the present,
and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.
– Unknown –
I’m so glad Krista, that you are braver and braver day by day. Wishing you strength and perseverance to get over this nightmare. Sending you so much love and peace!
You are brave- just writing this post is so inspiring to me! Keep your head up!
You are a very brave woman. ((hugs)) So glad you have your faith, family and friends to help you walk through this.
Oh Krista. I go away for a week and am shattered to hear this news. I am happy though to hear that you are braver and braver every day. My own daughter was attacked the day before Christmas and still does not like to take the bus down to Granville Island. It takes time to heal, all my best wishes and motherly hugs coming your way!!!!!!!!
Molested at work, assaulted while travelling, stalked when I was single and living alone. So many traumas that I merely ran from rather than confront (often not reported–in the case of work because the offender was in a position of greater power and I was young and timid and didn’t know my rights, while travelling because of language barrier and foreigner police who didn’t comprehend/laughed off report filing attempt by semihysterical “cuckoo” young woman from another country who should’ve stayed home in their opinion). Nearly all of us have trauma in our past, to a greater or lesser degree. Few speak out, thanks for your honesty and bravery.
Your statement “there are still good, trustworthy people in this world” literally brought tears to my eyes. It’s so true, and it brings such hope. Sending you thoughts and prayers and a huge hug, Krista!
I too am glad to hear that you’re getting braver each day – trying to make sense of this must be a nightmare, but I think you’re doing everything you need to in order to take care of yourself – and we’re all here cheering you on along the way! Have a safe, restful weekend Krista 🙂
You are being so brave- just keep taking one step at a time! Shalom!
Good post, Krista ! ! And cheers for you as you do one brave thing at a time ~ remember : it is the small things that make big differences . . . and most ‘small things’ done for others really are great kindnesses in their lives. Love and Hugs ~ Katie
Good post, Krista ! ! And cheers for you as you do one brave thing at a time ~ remember : it is the small things that make big differences . . . and most ‘small things’ done for others really are great kindnesses in their lives. Love and Hugs ~ Katie
love ya. ((hugs))
Krista, you’re an inspiration. Stay strong, I’m thinking about you xxx
One brave thing each day, I love that. Oh man, what can I say other than I’m thinking of you girl. I’m so glad you had the strength to push this crazy guy away, that you had the strength at the time – its amazing where that energy comes from when you need it most isn’t it, its only after the shakes & shivers & all those ‘what if’ questions pop into your mind. I’m glad your OK & being rewarded for your strength & courage by strangers & friends & all your bloggie friends out there. You are not alone girl, we’re all connected & we’re here for you. Remember that 🙂
You are amazing Krista. My thoughts are with you.
Krista, I’ve been travelling and didn’t read what happened to you! Oh dear, that is just awful. I had a similar situation many years ago and I was the same as you. Rest and sleep was hard and snatched in little fits. I hope they find him I truly do!
One step at a time and normality will come. You are already brave for having made it so far xo
I think that doing one brave thing every day is the perfect plan of attack. It’s a way that you can fight this man and beat him EVERY DAY. Be strong, Krista! I know you can fight this!
Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your misadventure! I hope the police will soon find the man and that you’ll be able to feel safe again.
Hugs,
Rosa
OMG Krista how an earth have I missed knowing about the terrible experience you have gone through until now. I am so sorry that you have had such a bad experience on top of all the other things you have coped with so far this year.
I wish you the strength to get through this quickly and move on with your life, I hope the planned move abroad is still hapening it sounds like you need a complete change of environment if this memory is to fade quickly.
I only wish everyone was as brave as you. I’m so heartbroken you have to go through this, you don’t deserve this. Nobody deserves this. I will keep hoping they catch the man and give you peace of mind.
take care krista! xo
One small step at time, that is literally all you need to do to keep going, but always easier said than done. So really well done on being so brave, thinking of you my friend xx
It doesn’t compare to yours, but this past weekend I let my friend come into the changing room with me. She saw me in all my fat-roll-glory! That was my one brave thing 😉
Cheers! Each day gets better.
Velva
Wow Krista, it’s difficult to get back to “normal” after that type of encounter but it sounds as if you’re taking day-by-day. I’m glad you’re o.k. and my thoughts and prayers are with you as you adjust to your “new normal.”
Wow Krista, it’s difficult to get back to “normal” after that type of encounter but it sounds as if you’re taking day-by-day. I’m glad you’re o.k. and my thoughts and prayers are with you as you adjust to your “new normal.”