“Hope is being able to see that there is light, despite all of the darkness.” Desmond Tutu

It has been raining gently off and on through the night and this morning turning our hard-packed land into glorious mud. The brown, brittle grass is already turning green and the dogs are having a glorious time splashing through the puddles in the farmyard.

Physically, it’s been a painful week. Some days were spent in bed with eyes covered and ears plugged because even light and sound hurt, but today is a better day, a wondrous day when our drought-ravaged land gets luscious rain and our weary hearts receive a boost of courage to keep on hoping.

raindrops on kale

I’m on month 7 of Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome (PVFS), and my world is small and quiet as I wake up each day and try to do what the doctor ordered: rest, drink lots of fluids, and above all, don’t lose heart.

Don’t lose heart. That’s the hardest part because I love my life, so much, and I miss it terribly. But each day, even though most of my choices have been taken away by this illness, I still get to choose what to do with the time and energy I have.

I try to make good choices.

raindrops on lemongrass

I choose to cry when I need to cry.

I choose to be gentle with myself and let go of shame and guilt and unrealistic expectations.

I choose to give and receive love.

And, when I have the energy, I choose to do things that bring me joy.

raindrops on Tuscan kale

I have a list of things that I love to do, all requiring varying levels of energy so that even when I’m at my very worst, I still have something happy to look forward to. It never ceases to amaze me that just having one happy thing a day makes all the difference in the world.

Sometimes I have hot chocolate and sit on the veranda with Bear to watch the new baby goats and sheep jump and leap around, others I get warm under a blanket and do wood-burning while listening to Harry Potter audiobooks, and other times I’ll go outside with my camera for a few minutes and take pictures of beautiful things like my gardens covered in raindrops.

They’re little things, so little, but they keep me going and give me courage.

raindrops on leeks

One thing I really love is writing here, sharing pictures and stories and thoughts. So, I hope to do more of that in the months to come.

What little things make your hard days easier to bear? xo