“When you reach your edge, soften.
Soften until you slip through the constraints and
can create a new rhythm,
a new route,
a new release.
Water is soft yet powerful.
Reach your edge, and soften.”
Victoria Erickson

I read Victoria’s words over a year ago and they clung to my soul like a beautiful burr, providing light, comfort, and guidance through this incredibly difficult year. Whenever I felt challenging circumstances make me rigid, brittle, or put me in a state of hyper-vigilance waiting for the next tidal wave to hit, I’d whisper to myself, “Soften, soften.”

When I lost dear friends to car accidents and disease…soften, soften.

When someone stole money and resources I needed for survival…soften, soften.

When my animals were killed, fierce storms battered my farm, and I watched helplessly as my loves suffered horrifically from war, abuse, and disease…soften, soften.

Suffering ebbs and flows, sometimes tolerable, sometimes unbearable, but somehow, softening helps me through it.

As I intentionally relax my body, slow my racing thoughts, and remember to breathe deep and slow, my mind calms, my emotions settle, and I can remember my next mantra: “Keep calm and look for options. You always have options until you’re dead.”

Softening connects me back to my own heart, helping me focus on making sure my needs for rest, nourishment, friendship, play, and movement are prioritised so I can make decisions and choices from a place of strength. I want to respond to life, not react to it.

Softening helps me be gentle with myself, honest about what I can and cannot take on, and flexible when my goals and dreams don’t align with my available resources, strength, and support.

And softening helps me be gentle with others, to balance good judgment with compassion, patience, and generosity of spirit.

Sometimes I soften well, and other times I’m a frozen bundle of nerves longing for nothing more than a blanket fort, popcorn, and comforting stories where the good guys always win. And that’s OK. There’s no need for perfection, just slow, steady growth and much love.

Wishing you softness in your challenges this year, with glistening threads of love, friendship, and happiness to make those challenges bearable. xo