by Krista | Sep 6, 2017 | Spring
The wind is howling outside, but indoors, all is quiet and still.
I’ve been battling a flu this week, knocked flat one moment, wobbly but upright the next. I’m thankful for our peaceful little house where I can rest and recover, and make this down time something good.
Several years ago, my counselor encouraged me to write letters to those who had harmed me. I didn’t need to send them, just write them and get the feelings out so they wouldn’t continue to cause damage within. It was an excellent idea, but at the time I couldn’t. I didn’t have the words to capture what I felt and thought, I could only feel the pain, grief, and betrayal. So I set the idea aside, and trusted that when the time was right, I’d be ready.
Last week a trusted friend suggested that maybe now was the time to sit down and write those letters. That the thoughts and feelings related to those past wrongs were ready to come out, ready to be felt, expressed, and released.
So I did.
I waited until Bear was in bed, for these things require solitude, and then I started with the hardest person. The one whose name alone set my stomach churning and head pounding. And I started to write. And write. And write.
Previously I couldn’t get much past “To…”, but this time was different, the words flowed strong and sure, clear and succinct, with none of the hesitancy and downplaying and excusing that had characterized my first efforts.
And as the words came out, they dislodged emotions that had been festering for a long time, gut-wrenching sobs that shook me. And I let them come. The time for suppressing and pretense is long gone. I know now that for wounds to heal, the crap has to come out, fully and completely, until the wound is scrubbed clean and ready to heal. So they came, shuddering and gasping, until they were done. The crying stopped, my breathing slowed, and the heaviness that has been in my gut for decades was gone.
The next day I wrote another, and another and another. After each one, Bear would come and sit with me, holding my hand as I read them aloud, grinning so big after each one because he could see the freedom and strength they brought me.
“You’ve turned a corner, babe. They don’t have power over you anymore. You’ve taken it back.”
What lovely, empowering, healing words.
I’m exhausted now, but in the best possible way. My spirit is light, my mind at rest, and life feels full of hope.
As I rest now, I’m reminded that when it comes to healing, there are very few road maps and no timetables. We can get the counseling, address the issues, surround ourselves with good, loving people, but until the body is ready, it’s not ready. I’m learning anew to have patience with myself, and make sure I extend it to others, and to celebrate every bit of progress, no matter how small.
Yesterday Bear and I celebrated with a morning out, pottering at our favorite second hand shops, visiting and dining on toasted sandwiches and frappes at a cheery cafe, picking up avocado trees and seedlings at the nursery.
It did us both so much good.
The gardens are now planted with sugar snap peas, butter beans, red-leafed lettuces, lemon balm, comfrey, Lebanese cucumbers, and more of my beloved Pineapple Sage.
Now it’s time to rest again. An afternoon for naps and reading good things and drinking lots of herbal tea to keep the nausea down and flu-y aches more bearable.
How do you celebrate growth in your life? xo
by Krista | Aug 27, 2017 | Winter
This morning I woke up feeling wobbly in spirit. Anxious, unsettled, uncertain. So I did the three things that always help:
- Have a good cry.
- Talk to Bear.
- Go outside and make something beautiful.
It’s hard to keep feeling wobbly when the tears are out, the struggles are shared with someone who cares, and your arms are full of elderflowers.
So I take a deep breath and press on, because that’s what bravery is, one foot in front of the other, breath in, breath out, gaining courage from the good people and good things around me.
It’s funny to me how we don’t give each other courage by the things we’re mastering, but by the shared heavy sighs over the things we aren’t.
Finances. Relationships. Kids. House. Work. Health.
I’ve been so comforted this week by conversations with friends as we talked about how most of the time most of us are just trying to survive, just trying to earn enough to pay the power bill and (maybe) buy new underwear, just trying to do what we can to help our loves feel safe, loved, and happy, just hoping to have a few precious moments to ourselves where we can restore our spirits before the next emergency demands our attention.
And that’s bravery too. Staying in the life we have when it’s hard and scary and overwhelming and we’re exhausted beyond measure, working hard each day to make it a little better, a little happier, a little more stable.
I’m so thankful we don’t have to do life alone.
I have a tendency, when life is hard, to hibernate. That’s good, for a little bit, but then I need to get up and get out and connect with people, real people, people who love me and like me loving them.
It’s those connections that breathe life back into life. Those visits of laughter and crying, those emails of commiserations, those text messages and phone calls that talk about who’s vomiting now, who got/lost a job, and what on earth we’re going to make for dinner. Those little nothing conversations that mean everything because they say, “You’re not alone. I’m here. Life sucks, and it’s beautiful. You’re crazy and I love you.”
So we cry, we breathe, we talk with safe people, and then we get back to building good things.
Today I’m harvesting and drying elderflowers because it makes me happy to see bundles of these lacy blossoms all over the veranda. And because one day soon I’ll be able to sell parcels of these beauties in my tea shoppe market stall, which in turn will pay for food for our animals and food for us, and continue building goodness into our life here. That makes me smile as I cut and gather, wash and dry, store and package, brew and sip.
I’m also doing it because elderflowers are so nourishing to the body, helping it fight off colds, ease sore throats, and combat hayfever.
I’ve been able to go off allergy tablets completely since drinking elderberry tea this year, and I’m excited to see the effects of elderflower tea, which some believe to be even more potent.
Now I’m heading outside with Bear to plant two more grass gardens for our chickens, and harvest beetroot and purple carrots to roast for dinner.
What good things are you building in your life today? xo
PS – If you’d like to learn more about making your own herbal remedies, click here for my book: “herb & spice: a little book of medieval remedies.”
PPS – I’ll be sharing some exciting news and special deals for my newsletter subscribers in the months to come. If you’d like to be on the list, click here to subscribe. 🙂
by Krista | Aug 26, 2017 | Winter
I do love a weekend that feels like a weekend. One where you actually get to rest and take care of yourself and be companionable with your loves and eat good things.
After long days and late nights of writing and photo shoots, it’s been sheer bliss to set all that aside this weekend and just be us for a bit.
Yesterday was a movie day, watching excellent ones like “The Zookeeper’s Wife”, “Woman in Gold”, and season two of “The Last Kingdom.” We luxuriated in comfy clothes, special treats, and a complete avoidance of anything that required concentration. It was just what we needed, and we woke today feeling relaxed and happy and inspired.
We don’t often get to cook together, but we did this weekend, churning out cheesy pumpkin pancakes, garlicky hummus, loaves of bread, and wholemeal crepes.
Crepes are one of my favorite things because they’re so easy to make delicious things with. Our favorites at the moment are savory aged cheddar and tomato with lots of black pepper, and luscious fresh strawberry ones filled with sour cream and sprinkled with pineapple sage.
Today we’re pottering, feeding Jemima her bottle, watering gardens, planting cuttings, and thinking of ways to use all the lovely citrus dear friends gave us. I have baskets of lemons, limes, mandarins, tangelos, and oranges stacked on the veranda and kitchen table. I’ve juiced some, zested others, and feed all the peels to the pigs and sheep, who adore them.
Now I’m warm and comfy on the back veranda, tucked under a blanket, watching Jemima chase a very patient Apollo who guards her faithfully even when she tries to nurse on his boy bits. She then gets a firm growl and a little nip, and off she goes to nibble grass instead.
Our ewe, Emma, and her baby, Lillypilly, wander the farm yard, munching through freshly fallen leaves and whatever bits of green they can find before finding a shady spot for a nap.
The goats are back from grazing in the dam yard and are waiting for me to throw them their daily pellets when I feed the pigs, Pancetta and Prosciutto. I guess I’d better do that before settling in for a bit of inspirational reading.
What is making you happy this weekend? xo
Wholemeal Crepes
Ingredients:
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cups whole milk
1/2 tsp vanilla salt (or regular salt)
1 cup wholemeal flour
1/4 cup butter, melted
Directions:
1. Place all ingredients in blender and blend for 10 seconds. Remove lid, scrape down sides, and blend for another 20 seconds.
2. Pour into pitcher and refrigerate until ready to use, at least 1-2 hours.
3. Place frying pan over high heat and heat for 30 seconds. Add 1 tsp of vegetable oil, and swirl to cover.
4. Reduce heat to medium-high heat and pour about 2 Tbsp crepe batter in center of pan, swirling to make a thin circle.
5. Cook until bubbles form on top (40-60 seconds), gently slide spatula under crepe and flip. Cook another minute, then remove to serving platter. (First crepe is always messy, so just plan on eating that one straight away.) Repeat until batter is used up.
6. Serve warm or cold with filling of choice.
by Krista | Aug 22, 2017 | Winter
It’s deliciously cloudy today, with gentle winds blowing and the hope of rain sometime this week. Living in such a sunshiny country makes cloudy days precious. I always feel like hibernating, drinking hot chocolate, and sleeping in a wee bit. So I do whenever I can.
We’ve been working outside a lot this month. Bear set up a big work table out of the wind and has been building dozens of bee frames so we have a good cache to draw on when it’s time to enhance our bee hives or add new ones. I’ve been bottle-feeding Jemima, digging up new garden spots with a crowbar, and trying to keep gardens and fruit trees alive with heaps of watering.
We had our friends, Sallie and Marshal, over on Sunday and had a great time working together on all sorts of projects. We each have properties that have more work than we can handle on our own, so we take turns helping each other, and I love it. No matter how big a project is, having friends to help makes it way more manageable and heaps more fun.
Last time they helped us with harvesting honey and planting fruit trees, and this time we hauled a trailer load of rocks for them to build borders and pathways, and took heaps of cuttings from my elderberry, salvias, geraniums, and fruit trees so they can plant privacy screens and flower gardens. It is always a jolly time, and even though we’re tired and grubby and aching afterwards, we’re also inspired, with full and happy hearts knowing we don’t have to go through life alone.
This week, in between writing travel and food articles for various publications, I get outside whenever I can.
I’m planting snake beans and purple beans, tomatoes and tomatillos, lettuces and chilies, radishes and onions, and getting seedlings started in my kitchen garden for pumpkins, cucumbers, melons, and capsicums.
I continue to harvest mustard greens, silverbeet, lettuce, and beetroot greens for the sheep and pigs to supplement their feed. I’m so glad I planted extra, since even when the paddocks are dry, I always have something nourishing to give them.
Bear and I have been eating lots of roasted vegetables: pumpkins, potatoes, radishes, beets, carrots, and sweet potatoes. With so much work to do around the farm, it’s lovely to roast up a bunch of veggies and a couple of hams or pork roasts, and have them on hand for quick lunches and dinners.
It’s lovely seeing signs of spring everywhere now. Baby sheep and goats dancing and leaping about the yard, our big hen sitting on a clutch of eggs, animals mating with nary a thought for what the neighbors might think, and fruit trees budding and flowering. After such devastating hail storms last year, I’m really hoping to get a good harvest of plums, peaches, apples, pears, pomegranates, apricots, grapes, and citrus this year.
Now I must get back to writing. I think I’ll make that cup of hot chocolate I was dreaming of earlier, and snuggle down for a writing marathon.
What changes of season are you seeing in your world right now? xo
by Krista | Aug 19, 2017 | Winter
We’ve had a lovely cozy Saturday morning indoors, sipping hot coffee and dining on toasted ham, cheese, and tomato sandwiches made with our very own smoked ham. Then I was off to the kitchen to peel and core a mound of apples to make a rather scrumptious apple crisp for friends arriving tomorrow. It smells marvelous cooling on the counter.
It is wildly windy today, sending my drying bundles of herbs dancing like marionettes on the back veranda. I’ve been rescuing them from the gale and stripping them down, storing the crispy leaves in big glass jars to keep them safe from dust and scavenging mice. They look so beautiful lined up on the kitchen shelves and in the pantry, and it feels so good to have them harvested and ready for use.
Several months ago a company from Brisbane contacted me and asked if I’d consider developing a line of herbal teas using the things I grow on our farm. I was thrilled to pieces and so delighted at the prospect. We met and nutted out the details and since then I’ve been working hard to build the framework I need for such an endeavor.
I’ve been digging gardens and bordering them with the massive rocks I heaved out with a crowbar. I traded weeding for mulch with a local farmer, and started planting cuttings, seeds, and seedlings to get ready for a big harvest in the months to come.
As each herb, flower, or fruit is ready, I harvest it and put it out to dry, then store it away in the pantry.
It’s been a massive amount of work, but so much fun. I love being out in the sun and wind, figuring out how to make the most of the space I have, learning what grows best in our soil, dividing plants to make dozens out of a few, and taste-testing. So much taste-testing.
These days our little house is full of the scents of new concoctions: elderberry and hawthorn, pineapple sage, apple and mint, fig and coconut, pear and brambleberry, the list goes on and on.
I’m nearly done all the planting, so now I’m focused on the design side of things, making my own labels, choosing packaging, calculating shipping costs, meeting with the managers of local markets to see which ones would be the best fit.
I’m loving every minute of this process, and cannot wait to share the finished products with you when they’re ready.
If you’d like to hear more about this new venture and be the first ones to hear when these lovely teas (and other goodies!) are ready to meet the world, please click here to sign up for my newsletter.
Now I must get back to work. My new seeds arrived yesterday, and it’s time to get those beauties in the ground. 🙂
What is your favorite herbal tea? xo
