by Krista | Dec 4, 2013 | Summer
Do it scared.
I’ve been mulling over these words since I heard them earlier this week. Letting them filter down into the frightened, anxious, insecure cracks in my soul and flooding them with courage, with deep breaths of resolve, with encouraging nods of “go on, give it a whirl”.
It’s a lovely thing to be reminded that we don’t have to wait to “do” until we’re brave, prepared, confident, assured, validated, affirmed. We don’t have to put the doing on hold until we feel clever enough, talented enough, worthy enough. We don’t have to wait until we have what we’re told is sufficient health, wealth or education.
We can just Do. Try. Attempt. Have a go. Give it the ol’ College Try. (I actually have no idea what that last phrase means, but it’s folksy and I like it.)
We can do the things that are important to us. Those deep, secret, treasured dreams that give us so much happiness we can hardly bear to bring them out into the light for fear they will lose their shimmer or that others will not see their value.
As I pondered these words, I thought of the brave people in my life who are Doing It Scared.
- Quitting a hated job in pursuit of a freelance career that fills her heart with joy even though there’s no guaranteed paycheck.
- Moving to the place that feels like home even though they don’t have jobs, a house, or a secure future, just because they know it’s the right thing.
- Leaving her high-paying, prestigious job and starting a new home business because she couldn’t bear the thought of spending the rest of her life under intense stress.
- Celebrating the love she shared with her husband by going on every trip he’d planned for them before he died.
- Launching an Etsy shop with her beautiful handmade creations after twenty years as a stay at home, homeschooling Mom because she realized her dreams and goals matter too.
- Embracing a whole new way of eating and living in the hopes of healing their battered selves even when others told them it was impossible.
- Leaving an abusive spouse and building a new, beautiful, safe life with her daughter.
- Going back to school in her 60’s because she wanted to grow and find friends.
- Leaving a place of painful memories and starting over in the place that fills his soul with peace and hope.
- Hiring a life coach at age 40 because she doesn’t want to let those who told her she was worthless steal one more moment of her life.
- Facing his abusive past and transforming his life through counseling even though everyone told him counseling was a waste of time and money.
- Getting up each day and taking a shower because she’s not going to let Depression win.
It makes me cry to think of them, happy, proud tears because I know what such bravery cost them. But they did it anyway.
So I take a deep breath and I press on through all the “not good enough’s” and all the naysayers and doom-prophecy-ers and dream-underminers – especially the traitorous ones in my own thoughts! – and I Do It Scared.
- I create things I think are pretty and hope others like them too.
- I scribble Dream Lists and try to do one thing every day that gets me closer.
- I experiment with new recipes and groan at the flops and happy dance at the deliciouso ones.
- I keep going back to the doctor for tests and try new medicines and supplements and ways of eating and hope that one day, ONE DAY, we’ll find the things that heal this poor ol’ body of mine.
- I speak my dreams aloud, albeit with a quavering, hesitant voice, and feel braver and stronger every time.
- I exercise every day even though it doesn’t make a lick of difference because my body just wants to stay chubby right now.
- I reach out to the dream-makers in my life and cheer them on because we need each other.
- I go to my beloved counselor, even though it’s painful and hard, and do whatever I can to become a thrive-er not just a survivor.
- I reach out to strangers because I need friends and maybe they do too.
Is there anything you’re Doing Scared this month? I’d love to hear so we can cheer each other on. xo
by Krista | Nov 28, 2013 | Summer
Sometimes you have to spend your birthday going to see doctors because the treatment that was working to get you better stopped working and you’re getting much worse again.
Sometimes the doctors tell you they need you to go back to the hospital and be put under anesthetic and go through some rather invasive tests to find out what the dickens is going on.
And sometimes it all feels scary and painful and sad and awful so you have to have a cry and feel a bit sorry for yourself then take a deep breath and get the ol’ chin up and make it a good birthday anyways.
So you go to a beloved cafe where the people are happy to see you and engage you in jolly conversation and bring you a pot of Earl Grey Tea with milk and sugar and an oh-so-comforting breakfast and before long you’re sinking into a comfy gold armchair with a good book and the world has started to right itself.
And you get lost in a new murder mystery and think how even though it’s dreadful getting sick again it’s so much better than being murdered by a dastardly n’er-do-well.
And while you’re waiting for the next doctor you order another pot of tea and indulge in a new dessert simply because it has pink icing and is filled with jam and has a dollop of fresh cream and makes you smile.
And your phone keeps pinging because Bear told his co-workers it was your birthday and they keep writing with messages of love and kindness and cheer and you can feel your wobbly ol’ heart swell and feel loved and much, much braver.
Then Bear pulls in to pick you up and take you home and there on the trailer is your beloved car, Lucy, all glossy and spiffed up after a couple of months in the shop. And you’re so happy to see her you get rather teary and hug and smooch Bear who beams back and hands you…
…a bouquet of roses he had hidden in the car and then you get even more teary cuz you’re sick and feel like death and it’s so lovely when someone’s so nice and thoughtful when you feel so terrible. Then you both pile in Lucy and go for a little drive around the farm, weaving through trees and goats and ducks, so happy to be driving again after 2.5 years without a car.
And then you sink into comfy chairs and put on a funny old movie and dine on fish and chips and champagne and feel like two of the luckiest people in the world.
And it ends up being a very, very good birthday after all. xo
by Krista | Nov 22, 2013 | Summer
“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”
“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”
“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
“It’s the same thing,” he said.
A.A. Milne
Here on the farm we usually get up at 4 a.m. Sometimes I’m up and at ’em right away but other times I linger awhile, sipping tea and reading as the sun rises and washes my bookcase in golden light.
My first job is to pull on jacket and boots and head out to the goat pen, but I usually get stopped in my tracks on the back porch by the sun rising beautifully over misty fields.
I lead the goats up to the front gate and turn them loose to graze their hearts out in the field.
I just love the light at this time of day. Even goats look like something out of a fairytale in ethereal morning light.
Once the goats are happily noshing, I let the geese out for a feed and a flutter.
Then, if it’s not too cold, I sit out in my kitchen garden with a fresh juice or smoothie. It’s mango season right now, so the markets are full of mangoes so ripe and fragrant they just beg to be turned into luscious smoothies. I’m happy to oblige, throwing in some plump, ripe strawberries while I’m at it.
I never thought I’d be happy to wake up at 4 a.m., but I love it now, and wouldn’t trade these mornings for anything.
What is your favorite time of day at your house?
by Krista | Nov 19, 2013 | Summer
Bear and I were sick with an awful, achy, fevered flu for the past week. We felt miserable, and by day five we were both going a bit stir-crazy. So we took our sick selves outside, Bear to potter away with his tractor and me to amble down our driveway to pick a big bouquet of the Queen Anne’s Lace I’d spotted the day before.
The cool wind felt heavenly on my fevered face and the walk did me good. With all the glorious rain we’ve had, our ditches are full to bursting with feathered grasses and wildflowers that dance in the wind.
Queen Anne’s Lace has been my favorite wildflower since I was a little girl. It grew abundantly in Canada too and was handy for tucking into a blonde braid or stirring into a made-up concoction consisting primarily of dirt, hose water, and weeds.
“Magic exists.
Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers,
the music of the wind and the silence of the stars?
Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic.
It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live.”
Nora Roberts
I love the look of wildflowers against old wood, don’t you? They seem to belong together.
I bet Bear never thought his old workbench would be such a perfect spot for a bunch of wildflowers to rest.
When I got back home, I tucked the unkempt and rowdy bouquet into my Russian teapot and it has provided endless delight to me ever since.
When I’m feeling crummy I want good, simple, easy food. Food that comforts and nourishes and doesn’t make me want to groan pityingly at the effort. Thai-Spiced Roasted Cauliflower fits the bill nicely.
Poor cauliflower is often neglected in the vast array of more beautiful and interesting vegetables, but it shouldn’t be! This cruciferous vegetable is full of vitamin B (6 different kinds!), K, and C, a powerful antioxidant and detoxifier, anti-inflammatory, and excellent for your digestion and cardiovascular health.
Roasting is a delicious way to eat cauliflower, especially when tossed with a Thai-inspired spice mix that is heady with lime zest.
What things comfort you when you’re ill?
PS – My November Newsletter is out today! “A Little Christmas Dreaming” Click here to read it and click here to subscribe and receive future newsletters. xo
Thai-Spiced Roasted Cauliflower
Ingredients:
Thai Spice Mix Recipe
Mix together the following:
1 tsp each of coriander powder, garlic powder, and onion powder
1/2 tsp each of sea salt, sugar, cumin, turmeric, dried mint, powdered ginger, and chili powder
zest of one lime
Roasted Cauliflower Recipe
Ingredients:
1 head cauliflower, trimmed and cut into florets
2 Tbsp grapeseed oil
1 Tbsp Thai seasoning (see above for recipe)
Directions:
- Preheat oven to 400 F (205 C).
- Place cauliflower pieces in large mixing bowl, drizzle with grape seed oil. Toss gently to coat.
- Sprinkle over seasoning and toss to coat.
- Place baking paper on cookie sheet and spread cauliflower evenly. Add more salt if necessary.
- Bake 25-30 minutes until cauliflower is browned and edges crispy.
- Serve warm.
by Krista | Nov 18, 2013 | Summer
“How much better is silence; the coffee cup, the table…
Let me sit here for ever with bare things,
this coffee cup, this knife, this fork, things in themselves,
myself being myself.”
Virginia Woolf
I love my Bear and our farm, my friends and loved ones, but for my own well-being I regularly need time alone.
I try to take myself out for coffee or breakfast once a week. Just me, my coffee cup, journal, pen, and a really good book. Or two.
Last week I was delighted to find that one of my favorite Warwick cafes – Lorraine’s – moved out to my tiny hometown of Allora!! It is such a lovely space with petite gold armchairs covered in scroll work that reminds me of my wood-burning. The owners don’t mind one bit if I snuggle into a chair and remain there for hours at a time. And I love them for that.
I’m especially grateful that they let me mess around with their menu to get a rather lovely gluten-free breakfast to go with my butterscotch latte (swoon!): creamy scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, and fresh avocado.
There’s something rather wonderful about sipping and eating delicious things that makes time alone especially lovely.
I continue to read through “Women Who Run With The Wolves”, taking time to focus on just one thought or question and write my way through it to peace or healing or understanding. Books are so powerful, aren’t they?
“But reading, and particularly the reading of fiction,
encourages us to view the world in new and challenging ways…
It allows us to inhabit the consciousness of another which is a precursor to empathy,
and empathy is, for me, one of the marks of a decent human being.”
John Connolly
Yes, reading, writing, resting, time to think through things, they all do much, much good.
What is your favorite way to recharge your spirits?
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