by Krista | Feb 21, 2013 | Bits 'n' Bobs
Today is a tucked up in bed day, for pain is giving me a bit of a beating. I’m learning to rest in it and muddle through it and find ways to thrive in it, but then there are other moments:
“Sometimes,
before you make any plans or resolutions,
before you declare your heroic intent to persevere,
you just have to cry.”
Jaclyn Dolamore
I love that quote. It makes me smile and not feel bad for having a bit of a crumply time. I will be heroic, I will persevere, I will make good plans and stalwart resolutions, I will be creative and give way to belly laughs and make delicious things to eat, but not yet.
First I will rest and know it’s quite alright to be weepy and achy and have quite enough of sad, bad things happening in my life and the lives of people I love.
“Being happy isn’t having everything in your life be perfect.
Maybe it’s about stringing together all the little things.”
Ann Brashares
Over the past week I’ve started taking pictures with my phone of “all the little things.” The small, insignificant happinesses that dot my life even on bad days. Here are some of them:
Going out for breakfast with Bear and having good talks over a hazelnut latte and toasted ham and cheese croissant.
Cheerful wool socks that keep me warm on this week of stormy, stormy days.
Soft, sleepy light filtering through the window on a rainy afternoon.
A gorgeous faux turquoise necklace dripping with stones: $4 at the thrift store.
Handmade medieval Finnish shoes from Bear.
Bear and I holding hands while we drive to town to run errands.
Homemade chocolate chip cookies by candlelight as a storm rages outside.
Stringing them all together gives me such a lovely feeling of warmth and belonging.
What little happy things would you string together from your life this week?
by Krista | Feb 18, 2013 | Bits 'n' Bobs
“I believe the nicest and sweetest days
are not those on which anything very splendid
or wonderful or exciting happens
but just those that bring simple little pleasures,
following one another softly,
like pearls slipping off a string.”
L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea
It’s a simple pleasures sort of day.
The skies are stormy, the wind wild, and it is a day for flickering candles, well-thumbed books, and homey sorts of projects.
So in between work assignments and hot cups of something, I’m stealing quiet moments to read a few pages or write in my journal or knit.
My friends Ann and Marie are teaching me to knit – bless them. They can do it with eyes closed, their fingers flying through familiar stitches and motions, whipping out sumptuous cowls and the prettiest mittens you ever did see. I have dreams of being able to do such things myself and they’ve gamely agreed to help me along.
So we started this weekend, and all was going well until our dog Solar sneaked up on the porch when we weren’t looking, grabbed my yarn and bolted. Ayiyi! By the time Bear found my yarn it was a tangled mess of knots, dog slobber, sticks, dirt, and broken bits of leaves. Good heavens!
I thought there was no way to redeem it, but Bear sat on the veranda with me for ages and we got every last bit of that mess unraveled and rewound. (That man is a luv, I tell ya!) Now I have no excuse not to practice.
My favorite food of late has been a White Bean Roasted Red Pepper Dip that I’ve been eating by the spoonful. It’s so easy to make yet packed with flavor and all sorts of healthy things.
White beans are filled with antioxidants and are a good source of fiber, protein and magnesium. Red Bell Peppers (organic) also contain fiber, plus potassium and vitamins C and A. I add a lot of garlic to this dip too, and that makes it even healthier.
Next time I’m going to add chicken broth and some caramelized onions to turn it into a creamy soup.
What is your favorite healthy, simple food?
White Bean Roasted Red Pepper Dip
Ingredients:
3 cups of white beans, cooked (2 cans drained and rinsed white beans)
2 organic red bell peppers, roasted, skinned and chopped (1 cup marinated roasted red bell peppers, drained)
3-4 cloves of garlic, chopped
1/4-1/2 cup chicken broth
salt and pepper to taste
Directions:
- Dump all ingredients into food processor or blender and puree until smooth. Add more chicken broth if necessary.
- Serve with vegetable sticks, crackers, or spoon it up.
by Krista | Feb 15, 2013 | Bits 'n' Bobs
Chilly wind is darting through the gum trees this morning. I’m wrapped in flannels and warm socks, sipping coffee topped with thick foam, and letting my soul rest.
I was recently diagnosed with severe PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and depression. It turns out that when a lot of bad things happen over a long period of time, those things wreak havoc with your body and spirit and leave you rather battered.
There was a time I would’ve been ashamed to say what I am dealing with, but not anymore. Instead I feel hope and gratitude and peace.
I’ve been hanging on for dear life for so long, trying to be strong enough, wise enough, good enough, trying to press on with joy and courage and kindness no matter how bad things got, thinking somehow that if I could just think the right thing or be the right thing it would all get better. But now I can just rest. I don’t have to hang on any more. I can be at peace knowing that I am OK, that I will be OK, that this is just something I have to work through and that one day the darkness will pass and I won’t have to search for the light, it will be all around me.
In the meantime, I’m doing what I can to make it as easy as possible for my dear ol’ self to get better. The time for adventuring and throwing myself headlong into projects will come again, but for now I am resting and embracing things that nourish and restore and strengthen.
I’m sticking close to the people I know are safe and trying to love them as beautifully as they’ve loved me through this difficult time.
I’m setting healthy boundaries after finally finding the courage to say no to situations that suck the life out of me, and yes to those that support all that is good, healing, and loving in my life.
I’m writing, writing, writing without judgment or editing, just getting it all out so the bad things don’t have power anymore. (Don’t worry – I won’t foist such ramblings on you. :-))
I’m giving myself good things to look forward to: breakfast dates with Bear, thrift store hunting with my girls, and camping trips with dear friends.
I’m celebrating signs of progress: a sleep without nightmares, successfully navigating a panic attack, the return of creativity.
I’m embracing my artistic side now that I’m getting the strength to do stuff again. I’m sewing and painting and taking pictures of everything that delights me, and it feels so good.
I’m also getting out into nature as often as possible. There are few things more restorative than sunshine, fresh air, salt water, and the woods. Yesterday I got up early and my dog Luna and I watched the sun come up, turning the fields into rippling waves of glowing gold.
Today I pulled on wellies and slipped a plaid flannel shirt over my sundress and went out to my rather wildly overgrown garden. It was so good to potter in the dirt for a while, pulling weeds and plants past their prime, filling bowls with gorgeous purple beans and tiny cherry tomatoes.
The ducks and chooks gathered outside the garden, happily tucking into the vegetation I tossed over the fence.
I love working outside in this sort of weather, ominous clouds scudding by overhead as buffeting winds make the world feel wild and untamed.
It does my soul good.
I’ve been reading some incredible things lately, beautiful, powerful words that heal deep wounds and bring hope. I am treasuring the book, “Women Who Run with the Wolves“. I can’t begin to describe the work it has wrought in my heart as I continue the lifelong journey of soul-reclamation. This post by Susannah Conway is so good for generating ideas for self-care in the real world and I cherish this post by my friend Rain who writes so exquisitely about the secret life of joy.
I’ve been continuing my quest to build happy things into my life every day. Yesterday was this new pair of polka dot wellies. Aren’t they outrageously cheerful?
My project this week is filling my life with amazing women who inspire, challenge, and delight me. I started a list of them – both fictional and real-life – and yesterday my friend Lizzy urged me to print out their pictures for my Inspiration Board (aka – cheap ol’ bulletin board I cover with things that inspire me).
So that’s what I’m doing and it makes me smile to see their brave, beautiful, weathered faces up there. It’s like having your own set of cheerleaders inspiring you to all that is noble and courageous and loving.
Whose photos would you tack up on your Inspiration Board?
by Krista | Feb 12, 2013 | Bits 'n' Bobs
There’s a hint of Autumn in the air.
I can feel it in the morning crispness when I crawl out of my warm bed and have to pull a robe or sweater over my shoulders.
I see it in the kitchen windows that stay closed until well after the sun has risen.
And I taste it in endless cups of chai tea and creamy coffee that are what I’m craving most as I labor over the heaps of writing projects I’m tackling this week.
I’m loving every minute of it.
It makes me long for lazy afternoons of unhindered reading and quiet rambles through the Irish countryside.
Let’s wander a bit.
Where are your dreams taking you these days?
by Krista | Feb 8, 2013 | Bits 'n' Bobs
It’s a quiet sick day at home. Animals are snoozing happily in the shade and I’m cozy on the couch, tending my feverish, achy self with guava juice and noodle soup and comforting mugs of creamy chai tea.
My friend Jack makes the best chai tea I’ve ever had. He makes it when our group of friends goes camping, and it tastes absolutely heavenly made in a little cast iron pot over the campfire.
For my own chai tea recipe I add star anise and fresh ginger to the usual spice mixture of cinnamon, allspice, cardamom, and cloves. Some people like whole peppercorns as well, but I don’t fancy it. And today I’m using whole leaf green tea instead of the usual black to boost the antioxidant and anti-inflammatory benefits.
A batch is simmering on the burner right now. It’s such a comforting aroma and all those spices have such wonderful healing properties that it’s a lovely drink for someone feeling rather dreadful.
During these quiet moments I’m taking time to read good things, like this snippet from Susannah Conway’s recent 40th birthday post sharing things she’s learned in her first forty years:
“I believe that by being the best and most healed version of ourselves
we can truly make a difference in the world.
I’m not an activist or politician,
and I’m not able to have any direct impact
on the areas of the world where help is needed.
But what I can do is make a difference
in the small pocket of the world I call home.
I can live with integrity and be honest about my feelings,
even when they hurt.
I can put my whole heart into my work
and pay forward the generosity that was shown to me
when my world fell apart.
I can look after myself,
knowing that by healing my own hurts
I won’t be passing them on to anyone else.
In a society like ours,
filled with so many emotionally wounded people
acting out their pain,
this is possibly the most important work we could ever do—
heal our hurts so we don’t pass them on.”
I love that so much. And this gorgeous piece from Rainer Maria Rilke:
“I beg you…
to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves
as if they were locked rooms of books
written in a very foreign language.
Don’t search for the answers,
which could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is, to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps then,
someday far in the future,
you will gradually, without even noticing it,
live your way into the answer…”
Now it’s time to add the tea to my simmering pot of spices.
Wishing you a beautiful, cozy weekend filled with good, quiet moments and things that nourish your soul.
xo
Chai Green Tea Recipe
Ingredients:
1 cinnamon stick
1 teaspoon whole cloves
4-6 green cardamom pods, crushed
10 allspice berries
3 slices fresh ginger
2 pieces of star anise
4 cups water
1 tbsp loose leaf green tea (or more if you like it strong)
whole milk and raw sugar or honey, to taste
Directions:
- Add spices and water to medium-size pan and bring to a boil over medium-high heat.
- Simmer, covered for 15 minutes.
- Add loose leaf tea, remove from heat, and steep 3-4 minutes until it reachs your preferred strength.
- Strain into a large, favorite cup, add sugar/honey and milk to taste.
- Sip slowly and savor every drop.
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