I’m sitting in my office with one dog snoozing beside me and another stretching luxuriously on the veranda before she goes back to snoozing. I just finished the breakfast Bear made for me, my client work is done for the day, and now I get to sit a bit and watch the clouds roll in, dark and heavy with rain.

Today, as I acknowledge the myriad things I have no control over, I celebrate the choices I do get to make. They may be small, but they are powerful and I love them.

This week I’m waiting to see if I have cancer again.

lichen on lichen

Yesterday I had a biopsy and now, I wait, being gentle with myself as I float along the waves of fear and anxiety that inevitably come at times like this. I remind myself that I’m allowed to be scared because this is scary. I’m allowed to get a bit teary because this is hard. And then, when the waves pass, I’m allowed to hunker down into peace and find and create joy wherever I can.

undergrowth

This week I’m choosing to do the things that bring me joy: hanging out with Bear and our dogs, exploring nature, and reading new books that take me on vicarious adventures to Venice, Tasmania, Denmark, Ukraine, and England.

light at the end of the tunnel

I love that even in our darkest times, we can choose goodness, choose the things that make the hard times easier to bear, and choose to let ourselves feel the yuck until we get through to peace. xo